How can you tell when the person you're dating (male or female) is a jerk before getting serious together? If you are prone to this pattern in your dating life, this simple checklist below may be just what you need to turn that trend around.
People often will highlight who they are right from the start IF YOU PAY ATTENTION. If you are on "jerk-alert" watch for these behaviors. The minute you start seeing these items, Go to avoid the heartache and headache these characters are renowned for.
Watch for consistency with what s/he says and does. For example. does the person follow through on what s/he says? You can even look for consistency between conversations. Liars often trip themselves up when you are inconsistent using their stories. If they talk about their ex a lot - this is a red flag waving - stay away! That person isn't ready for relationship, regardless of what s/he says. If they discuss sex immediately - that's what they're most interested in. If they talk about themselves and do not ask about you - you realize his/her favorite topic - themselves! If they profess strong feelings quickly, don't believe a word from it. No one falls that fast, so don't get taken in with this sweet-talk that usually leads to a broken heart. If they email plenty, but don't want to talk on the telephone or meet - move on! There are lots of people searching for racy pen pals, not real relationships. Spare yourself the disappointment.
Here's the best telltale sign. When you are making excuses for the person - warning sign! Don't make excuses for individuals at the beginning of the relationship. S/he is who s/he is, so don't justify rudeness, lateness, getting stood up or any other unacceptable behavior because of the person's life situation or career issues.
Individuals are on their very best behavior at the outset of a relationship. Which means you're already seeing the best of the best. If you do not like a specific item - do your favor and face the facts that it's not getting any better.
If you want to be treated well, start by treating yourself well. Don't put up with disrespectful behavior for any reason. Regardless of how cute, sexy, or rich the individual is, or how lonely you are, ill-mannered people don't get nicer with increased time. The greater you respect yourself, the greater others will too.
Sometimes clients ask me - "If I've already begun dating a jerk, is there any way to obtain him/her to be less of a jerk?" Sorry, however i have to say, "no."
A jerk is really a jerk. The earlier you become popular, the sooner you are able to free yourself and save heartache and time. You can't change anybody, so don't even get started. That's a game at which you will surely lose.
This can be a great time to be dating with nearly half of all Americans being single. Nothing you've seen prior has the single population been this big! Because of so many to choose from, why settle for the crumbs a jerk will throw you? Proceed to connect with a person who adds to your life and shows you the respect you deserve.